In about two weeks we will be moving - I should be excited, but I'm not! Not one part of me is ready to leave this place, to leave the neighborhood that I have ran in for the last 5 years, to leave the only house my granddaughter has ever known us to live in. To leave the trails nearby that I love to run on! Which is really interesting since we've been looking for a house to buy since October.... of 2009! I should have been prepared by now, right?
My not wanting to move hasn't completely taken my husband or me by surprise--- It's a fault in my personality... and it's getting really annoying! I'm 45 years old; it's a fully developed "issue" now. I've been down this road a million times- I had this same problem when we moved in here! I can't fully commit to the big stuff...well, honestly, I can't commit to buying clothes, shoes, dishes..... whatever... I'm just sure I'll regret it, but it's okay to regret buying clothes, shoes or dishes because I can return them. But a house isn't quite that easy to "return"! Darn it!
I know that God is molding this serious personality issue of mine - The house we're supposed to be moving into is a foreclosure and the bank has not done the things they are supposed to do, and the things they have done need to be redone! Needless to say, this is not within my comfort zone!
I have learned a few things that God is trying to teach me during this whole experience, the most important being that I need to trust what I cannot see! Now, this is certainly not the first time this concept has come up with me... Oh, He's brought it up many times, but I always seem to rely on what I know, or what I can figure out.... But this time seems to be different. There's something very different going on now. It's a turning point, and I think I'm turning! Bout time!
